A little song for my dear chums, entitled
'Andy Went Down To Tasmania'
 

[musical accompanyment for budding vocalists]
 

Andy went down to Tasmania, he was lookin' for some butt to kick
He was in a bind 'cos he was way behind and he wanted to kick some quick,
When he came across these young men sittin' in TAFE and playin' a lot
Andy jumped to the front of the class and he said, "Boys let me tell ya what,"

"I guess you didn't know it, but I'm a LAN gamer too
And if you'd care to risk your rear, I'll make a bet with you,
Now you play pretty good Soldier boys, but give the teach' his due
I'll bet outa this class I'll kick your ass, 'cos I think I'm better than you..."

The boys said, "We're the TAFE kids and not adverse to fun,
We'll take your bet, we're no teacher's pet [though we're sh*t at makin' puns]"

[chorus:]
TAFE dudes clock those CPUs and tune your graphics cards
'Cos MoHAA's up in Sandhill and the Mallett plays it hard,
And if you win you get this shiny Cert III at your feet
But if you lose, Andy makes you repeeaaat...

[cue:quick violin bit]

Andy booted up his box and he said, "I'll host this game!"
And potato chips flew from his fingertips as he punched in the level's name,
He got all the ammo, got the cover, got his favourite gun,
And as the players joined in, he sniped 'em one by one

[cue: heavy and longish electric guitar action sequence]

When Andy finished the TAFE boyz said, "For a POM you're not too crap,
But sit down in that chair right there and let someone else start the map."

[chorus:]
Fire from the snipe hole, runs boys run!
Andy's in the house with the gatling gun,
Grenade down his trousers, rocket in the hole,
Is he still breathin', oh hell no...

[cue:slightly longer violin bit]

Andy retired to the kitchen 'cos he knew that he'd been beat
And he dialled the Pizza shop to get the players somethin' t' eat,
The boys said, "Hey dude we'll be back, if you ever wanna try again."
Andy said, "If you wanna come back here, you'd better let me win!"

[chorus reprise:]
They sang,
Fire from the snipe hole, runs boys run,
Andy's in the white house scratchin' his bum,
Bundi, coke and Tooheys Old,
6 a.m. already!? F*ck it's cold..
 

- the end -
 

[original Charlie Daniels Band version ]